Pain, Progress & Change – Apart of Life’s Journey
Situations we experience, lessons we learn, joys we have and pain we learn to conquer – it’s all apart of life’s journey. For most of us, one of our main life goals is to become better, to make an impact and live the absolute best life we can. We find fulfillment and joy in creating successful families, communities and careers. We find peace in good relationships, having good health and establishing meaningful memories. Most of all, we want to be our very best, we want to achieve significance. Motivational speaker and Life Coach, Tony Robbins says that the greatest need for human beings in the need for significance.
Significant Change Will Take Time
Whether you’re looking to change your hair color, weight, level of education, relationships, a job or career – it’s important that you are patient with yourself in the process. In our “instant gratification” society, we often want to have a life altering, “drive thru” experience that happens overnight. The reality is, most substantial changes will take time. So be patient with the process giving yourself time to grow and evolve. In life, it’s not about how or even where you start; in fact most people won’t even remember you for how you start – they remember you for how you choose to finish. Furthermore, 10% of life is what happens to you, while 90% is how you choose to respond to it. When you feel like you’ve failed, it does not have to be final. Keep moving forward, making progress, trying until you see success in every area of your life. Remember every step forward, is a step toward progress and that if you are willing to stand forever, you’ll find, you may not have to stand for long.
No Reward in Quitting
There is no reward in giving up on your dreams, breaking down, throwing in the towel and walking away from what you hope for. You will surely never see success if you quit every time you feel discouraged. Realize all pressure isn’t bad. Furthermore, feeling uncomfortable or “out of your comfort zone” isn’t necessarily bad either. Sometimes, as Life Coach, Lisa Nichols says, “We need to get comfortable being uncomfortable”. In other words, there are times the discomfort we feel is because we are being stretched to grow and change. These are times when our capacity, abilities and resilience are expanding. Just like when you go to the gym to exercise, it doesn’t always feel good, but that doesn’t mean it is not good for you. If you stick with the exercise training program long enough you will see results, if you give up to early, basically, you will remain the same. Surround yourself with people who will motivate you and who have already accomplished what you are hoping to do. Always remember, there is no reward in quitting and amazing changes in your life are possible, if you don’t give up.
Junice Rockman is a Wife, Mom, Certified Life Coach and Journalist. Please send feedback to jrockmotivates@gmail.com
Change Is Possible If You Don't Give Up
"Getting A Little Better Everyday"
Part I
By: Junice (J-Rock) Rockman
Each day that we are blessed to see a new sunrise, we have a new opportunity to Co-Create our lives with God. We can think of each new sunrise as sort of a “Divine Alarm Clock”, an appointment reminder from God that we have a new chance to start fresh in our lives. The other day, my husband said to me, “This year, I’ve made a commitment to just get a little better each day.” I thought that was a simple, realistic, attainable and honorable daily goal. So I decided I would completely adopt this daily goal for myself as well. So often we can create and aspire to achieve huge, grand and lavish goals or task, but what about just getting a little better everyday? If we make a commitment to get a little better each day, by the end of each month we will see change, by the end of each quarter we will evolve significantly and by the end of the year, we could change our lives.
So how do we go about accomplishing this task? How do we take the pieces of the puzzle of our lives and pull them together to create a beautiful, finished landscape that can be celebrated at the end of each day and ultimately at the end of the year? Here are a few steps to get started:
Celebrate and Encourage Yourself
I often say, “if you can’t love yourself, it will be difficult for anyone else to either”. It is also true that if you are not able to celebrate yourself, even when others do, you may not believe them. Take some time, preferably at the beginning of your morning to sit quietly and visualize yourself being successful in your day. Think about your personal and professional goals for the day, imagine how you feel once you complete your goals and consider taking time to pray to ask for divine assistance from God. You should also take time to speak positive affirmations into your own life. Get in the mirror and make affirming statements like, “I am strong, wise, patient, resourceful and getting better everyday.”
Demonstrate Kindness
A little smile, a bit of humor and a kind word go a very long way, especially in today’s society. These little things can make a difference in your day, as well as in the lives of those around you. When you are out during the day, make a conscientious effort to make direct eye contact with those you are speaking to. Offer a smile, an appropriate complimentary statement and by all means when you say, “Hi, how are you?”, please make time to stay in their presence long enough for you to hear and pay attention to their response.
Next week, we will explore the importance of setting clearly defined goals and how to finish what you start, once your strategy is in place.
Junice Rockman is a wife, mom, Household Engineer, Certified Life Coach, Journalist & 4th Generation Entrepreneur. Follow her columns at www.jrockmotivates.com. You may send feedback to jrockmotivates@gmail.com
"Fallen Out of Love? Good News You Can Fall Back In"
“Fallen Out of Love? Good News, You Can Fall In Love Again”
By: Junice Rockman
Certified Life Coach & Journalist
Last week we talked about learning to love in our relationships without limits. We also defined love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; or a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend” (dictionary.com) The good news is that love is an emotion, which is “energy in motion”. So that means you have the ability to shift that energy in the direction or motion that you choose. It may take time, practice, reading, forgiveness, effective communication and perhaps lots of wise counsel, but you reignite your love.
If you feel that you’ve “fallen out of love”, the good news is, you can also "fall back into love" again. Be slow to give up on each other, slow to anger and quick to forgive. In fact, if we all just learned to listen more and speak less, it would enhance the quality of our relationships tremendously. I’ve heard it said before, that we have two ears and only one mouth for a reason – because we need to learn to actively listen a lot more than we actually speak.
The main reason for the breakdown in so many relationships is simply – selfishness. As human beings, we instinctively assert ourselves, to preserve ourselves – even our point of view. Good old fashioned self preservation often turns us into bickering, belligerent, unhappy spouses – because we want everyone to “see” things our way. But what if we stopped trying to prove ourselves to our spouses and started focusing on becoming better listener’s, better husbands, better wives, better parents, better people? We would not only change our relationships, our children and families would see the effects, our neighborhoods, our communities – we would literally help change the world – one relationship at a time. If we could just take a slice of “humble pie” and end the “relationship war”.
Every relationship has seasons, recognize the season you're in - planting, pruning, watering or harvest time. Be willing to do the WORK, to reap all of the AMAZING BENEFITS each season has in store. The work that goes with this kind of Love goes beyond an emotion of temporary "bliss". It's the kind of LOVE that is patient, long suffering and knows no limits because it is LOVE without conditions or limits. This week, find news ways you can be patient, kind, supportive, forgiving and long suffering. If you’ve fallen out of love with your spouse, with time, effort, counsel, books and some hard work, you can surely fall back into love again.
Junice Rockman of Murfreesboro is a Household Engineer, Certified Life Coach & Journalist. Email comments to jrockmotivates@gmail.com
We Don't Attract What We Want, But Who We Are
We Don’t Attract What We Want, We Attract Who We Are
By: Junice Rockman
Certified Life Coach & Freelance Journalist
Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle or “holding pattern” in your life seemingly going through the same things over and over again? If you find yourself having re-occurring challenges in your life recognize there may be a test in the situation that you haven’t passed yet. It’s almost like being in school, just because you get older, doesn’t give you permission to pass to the next grade, until you learned what you were supposed to in your current grade.
I often say, “In life we don’t attract what we want, we attract WHO we are”. Examine your closest friendships, look at your career choices and look at the positive or negative situations that happen systematically in your life. Look for patterns and in those patterns you’ll find deeper meaning that reflects who you are. Your current life reflects what you believe about yourself - what you believe you deserve. For example, if you find yourself in friendships or relationships that you are always on the giving end and have a hard time receiving the same kindness back that you give out, it’s time to ask yourself what you believe about what you deserve. Do you believe that you deserve to be in friendships that pour into you, strengthen you and give back to you? Or do you believe you always have to be on the giving end? Are you always the encourager, trying to fix things and fix everyone in your life or it is time to free yourself and realize it’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone is happy all of the time? These are the kinds of belief systems that dictate our choices, our actions and ultimately our results. If you want to change the results you have on the outside, you have to change what you believe on the inside.
Another example would be chronic financial problems. Some of us constantly overspend because we fear that if we leave something left over, we won’t manage it properly so it would be better to spend it all. Others overspend because we are afraid of when we will have money again so we’d better get what we can while we can. Another common reason for overspending is feeling like we’ve sacrificed and struggled enough so we “deserve to splurge” on ourselves. Or perhaps we are overwhelmed with debt and bills, but have created these situations due to a lack of inattention to our financial lives. We think that if we don’t address something, it’ll just take care of itself or we are so locked in fear, we don’t what to go through the discomfort of addressing these issues. In order to create change in these or any areas, we have to change our thinking. We have to become attentive to our financial obligations and overcome the fear of facing the results of negative decisions. We also have to embrace the belief system that there is an abundance in the Earth, more than enough for us to go around so we don’t have to be tied into a scarcity mentality.
Spend time in prayer and ask God to reveal limiting beliefs that you may have that are keeping you in a holding pattern in your life. Then go to work on changing them. The change you are looking for can only happen through reading new material, getting around new people and allowing yourself lots of room to grow over time. You have everything inside of you that you need to re-design your life. It just takes faith, patience and new information to get there.
Junice Rockman of Murfreesboro is a Certified Life Coach and Freelance Journalist. Follow her columns at www.jrockmotivates.com and send comments to jrockmotivates@gmail.com
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| From Change Your Life |
