Be the very best dad you can be

Click Here for J Rock Motivates TV

Dad's day is here this weekend and families all across the country are making plans to honor their dads, grandfather, uncles and brothers. Here are a few tips to be the very best dad you can be.

Discipline with love

Fathers can still effectively discipline their children with a calm, yet stern, tone without yelling and screaming. You should never speak down to your children, saying things like "you are so stupid" or "you get on my nerves." The old saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" couldn't be further from the truth.

The words you speak over your children will have a lasting impression for years to come. It may seem like a simple concept, but you'd be surprised how many adults I've counseled because of things their parents said to them decades ago.

Also avoid giving "the cold shoulder." If you need time to yourself, go away to fish, read or sit quietly so when you are with your children, you are fully present and give them your best.

Commit to dinner time

With long work days and varying kids' activity schedules, sitting down to have dinner together as a family almost seems to be a thing of the past. But even if you can't have dinner together every night, at least commit to dinner together a few times a week at the same time. This is a great time to go around the table and ask what the highlights of the day were and see if anyone has concerns. Make sure you set the example by initiating this time together. It's also a good time to listen and give advice.

Take time to read

If you still have young children, make sure you start reading to them early on. This is a great way to end your night, learn something new and have quiet time together. This is a nice way to step away from the world of electronics and TV and really develop their cognitive skills. If they always see you reading instead of watching TV, they will likely develop the same habit and carry it with them for the rest of their life.

Father's job never done

Often times dads give their toddler and preteen children more attention and then feel like they don't know how to relate to them as they get older. This is especially true for girls.

But remember your children still need you in their teen years and beyond. This is when talk time and making sure they feel loved and validated are the most critical.

There are so many things pulling at them in school and in the media. You want to always be the consistent voice affirming their value, talent and identity. Find something positive to compliment them on every day.

Take hold of chances in your life

Have you recently been offered a new position in your career, the chance to go back to school to finish your degree, or maybe a business opportunity? There are moments and seasons that come into each of our lives that are "once in a lifetime."

If you wait too long to think about whether or not you should take a chance and try something new, you may let the opportunity slip right through your hands. Ideally, we want to all live with little or no regrets. As we look back over the years, nobody wants to feel we made a series of bad choices or missed out on something big. In order to avoid those regrets, we have to seize every precious and spectacular moment in life that comes our way.

Here are a few tips to help you seize the moment:

1. Don't fight to create your path, pray to find your destiny.

It's often been said you can figure out your life's purpose by identifying what moves you to laughter or moves you to tears.

What is it that stirs you up? Are you passionate about writing, medicine, politics, raising a family, or finance? What is it that you could do all day whether you were paid to or not and love it?

These are questions you want to ask yourself to help identify your purpose.

You don't have to try to force yourself into the right place or the right crowd. Begin to pray and earnestly seek God's direction to get on course with the path predestined for you to follow.

2. Don't do the same thing every day.

Get out, network, meet new people and put yourself in the position for new opportunities to come your way. If you go to the same places and do the same exact things 365 days a year, how can you expect something new to come your way?

Apart of seizing the moment includes following God's leading so you are in the right place at the right time for God's favor to show up in your life. Success happens when preparation meets opportunity. Prepare yourself now for what you are dreaming to do. So when the door of opportunity shows up, you can walk right through it.

3. Recognize when something good has come your way.

Opportunities may come in the form of a simple suggestion from a friend or relative.

Practice the art of listening when new ideas or opportunities are presented to you — not just listening with your ears, but also listen with your heart. Don't just overlook suggestions or that "gut" feeling you get about something, or you could be missing out on something that would change your life in a great way.

Internships can make big impact

Summer break is finally here and kids all across the country are looking forward to staying up later, sleeping in and having a break from the daily school routine. This week and next week we'll discuss ideas to make your child's summer break more meaningful and memorable.

Exposure vital

You really want to begin exposing your kids to a variety of career options for their future when they are as early as 10 or 11 years old. And not just through conversation and research, but through hands-on experience.

Find out which career fields interest your child. If they are still too young to work during the summer, you can call to set up a tour at a hospital, television station, real estate office, college or whichever field they might want to pursue. Also ask if there would be any opportunities for them to help out for a few hours during the summer so they can see what actually goes on in the workplace.

Internships can be easy to arrange by making a few phone calls. Law offices, doctor's offices and other businesses are often open to having an intern if your child demonstrates initiative, commitment and a good work ethic. Some internships pay a small hourly amount, while many are for high school or college credit only. This type of experience will be a great resume builder and children gain more from working in an environment where they are intellectually and socially challenged.

Experience key

Whatever the case, these experiences will help your child understand the day-to-day work that goes into each career field — beyond just the glamour and salary. This experience is invaluable in helping them narrow their field of study.

For example, your child may desire a career as a TV reporter, but may realize through the hands-on experience the research and writing that goes into the job isn't appealing. Or a child interested in being an architect may enjoy drawing, but may also find there is a need to develop his math skills to do well.

Plan now

So get started planning out summer work plans with your children today. The exposure could be a life-changing experience.

Be open to healing in relationship

This month, in honor of Mother's Day, we talked about healing relationships between mothers and children. There was such a great response to that column, I felt it necessary to further explore this issue.

Father's Day is just around the corner in June, and there are so many out there who need to mend broken relationships with the mothers and their fathers as well.

How do we begin this process?

I often say in communication and life, we must first seek to understand and not just to be understood.

Parents are people, too

When we are first born, I think God gives us all this great ability to believe our parents can do anything. Ideally, they really should be our first representation of God on the Earth. We should be able to depend on them, learn from them and ideally aspire to be a lot like them.

But what if we could rarely rely on mom or dad to follow through on their promises? Or if we saw arguing, depression, anger and hopelessness in them as our example? How can we learn to love, forgive and have a strong relationship with our parents?

It starts with first understanding they're people too.

They started out just like we did, as babies, influenced by their environment and life's circumstances.

Moms and dads have hurts, disappointments and concerns just like us. If you've been hurt by your mom or dad, don't walk in bitterness and try to return a wrong.

Be understanding. I Peter 3:8 tells us to "be of one mind, having compassion for one another... being tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil, but on the contrary blessing knowing that you were called to this."

As their children, we often only see them in the role of a parent. But they had an identity as individuals far before you came along. Think about the way they were raised, the things they went through that shaped the person they eventually became. The relationship they had with their parents also plays a major role in the kind of parenting style they used with you.

Ideally, each generation should go a step beyond the one before them. I hope your parents were able to do more and be more for you than your grand- and great-grandparents did for them. Now you have the responsibility to work to take that a step further for your children.

Talk to your mom or dad about the changes you'd like to see them make and pray for their ability to change. No matter what we've been through in life, we all still have the ability to change who we are. But that is a matter of decision.

If they're not willing to make those changes, move forward and make a personal decision that you will be quick to change, grow and reshape yourself when you receive constructive criticism from those closest to you.