We Don't Attract What We Want, But Who We Are

We Don’t Attract What We Want, We Attract Who We Are
By: Junice Rockman
Certified Life Coach & Freelance Journalist


Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle or “holding pattern” in your life seemingly going through the same things over and over again? If you find yourself having re-occurring challenges in your life recognize there may be a test in the situation that you haven’t passed yet. It’s almost like being in school, just because you get older, doesn’t give you permission to pass to the next grade, until you learned what you were supposed to in your current grade.

I often say, “In life we don’t attract what we want, we attract WHO we are”. Examine your closest friendships, look at your career choices and look at the positive or negative situations that happen systematically in your life. Look for patterns and in those patterns you’ll find deeper meaning that reflects who you are. Your current life reflects what you believe about yourself - what you believe you deserve. For example, if you find yourself in friendships or relationships that you are always on the giving end and have a hard time receiving the same kindness back that you give out, it’s time to ask yourself what you believe about what you deserve. Do you believe that you deserve to be in friendships that pour into you, strengthen you and give back to you? Or do you believe you always have to be on the giving end? Are you always the encourager, trying to fix things and fix everyone in your life or it is time to free yourself and realize it’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone is happy all of the time? These are the kinds of belief systems that dictate our choices, our actions and ultimately our results. If you want to change the results you have on the outside, you have to change what you believe on the inside.

Another example would be chronic financial problems. Some of us constantly overspend because we fear that if we leave something left over, we won’t manage it properly so it would be better to spend it all. Others overspend because we are afraid of when we will have money again so we’d better get what we can while we can. Another common reason for overspending is feeling like we’ve sacrificed and struggled enough so we “deserve to splurge” on ourselves. Or perhaps we are overwhelmed with debt and bills, but have created these situations due to a lack of inattention to our financial lives. We think that if we don’t address something, it’ll just take care of itself or we are so locked in fear, we don’t what to go through the discomfort of addressing these issues. In order to create change in these or any areas, we have to change our thinking. We have to become attentive to our financial obligations and overcome the fear of facing the results of negative decisions. We also have to embrace the belief system that there is an abundance in the Earth, more than enough for us to go around so we don’t have to be tied into a scarcity mentality.

Spend time in prayer and ask God to reveal limiting beliefs that you may have that are keeping you in a holding pattern in your life. Then go to work on changing them. The change you are looking for can only happen through reading new material, getting around new people and allowing yourself lots of room to grow over time. You have everything inside of you that you need to re-design your life. It just takes faith, patience and new information to get there.

Junice Rockman of Murfreesboro is a Certified Life Coach and Freelance Journalist. Follow her columns at www.jrockmotivates.com and send comments to jrockmotivates@gmail.com